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At some point while you’re passing through life, life will pass through you.  It doesn’t matter how it happens it just does, what matters is how you build on it. When life passes through you, its breeze reduces you to your every essence and forces you to open your eyes. It forces you to look at yourself, at the world. Then, while you can almost taste it, you’re left staring into the open and you realize that life’s a choice and that every choice is a mystery. And since living is a choice then logically you can also choose not to live. The mystery about choices is the possibilities that lay within them. When you make a choice you’ll never know for sure where you end up or how.
I ran away from mysteries all my life until I found out that I didn’t have a life.
Life’s breeze had passed through me so many times unrecognized that this time a storm hit me and stuck around. I knew that I could no longer be half in half out; I had to make a choice. You would think that if life was one choice death would be the other, but to my utter disappointment it wasn’t.  In the midst of the storm my haunting past was telling me that it’s too late and impossible to change now while my reluctant future sounded warnings and raised suspicions. As both familiar sounds too loud and too troubling continued their conflict, I felt a small hand pulling me away, I looked down to find my present. It was skinny with its head bowed down but if you looked at it just right you would see the endless exciting possibilities and how its face actually radiated of joy. As its hand continued to pull me away, I started to feel life blowing in my hair and that’s when we reached the top of a mountain where my present let me be. I sat at the edge and dangled my feet and stared wide at the open in front of me.
Almost numb from the beauty I was brought back by a howling and saw the wolf right next me, panicked, I froze in my place. “In the midst of the wild, wolfs are the path finders and this one came to help you find yours” said the present. As we picked up our feet to march back into reality we passed through the wild, where the very first animal I saw was the buffalo.” Buffalos are considered sacred animals and the foundation of any life and any journey is your recognition of the sacredness of your life as well as any other life.” After the buffalo, passing by the pond we encountered a beaver “Your sacred life begins by building on the right foundations learn from the beavers for they are the builders of the wild”.
I stopped right there and cynically asked: “am I really to learn from animals?” Present looked at me as if staring to my soul and said: “Every child of God sees God in His creations, connects with God through His creations and learns from and about God from His creations.”
Ashamed, I smiled and with a gentle gesture asked if we could keep moving. And as we started moving again it said: “Let freedom be your foundation and let it forever be held together by the bond of truth”. And just as he was finished an eagle and an owl soared the sky above me.  Contrary to my belief the present taught me that love was not a foundation but it is what gets and keeps you going, just like the rapid gallops of a knight’s horse.
As we almost reached back to reality, I saw more animals approach me: The first was a snake that crawled up to my ear, “I am wisdom” it said, “I help you see the road and choose the right direction”. “Feed me humility”.
Then came the cougar which introduced itself as courage “So you may take the first step, make roads where there are none, and bring life where it’s missing”. “Feed me your Faith.”
Just as I thought it was over I felt my legs tingle and looked to find an ant which turned out to be perseverance.  “So that you recognize potential in the smallest of places and thrive on it to take yet another step”. “I thrive on Hope”.
We’ve showed you the way and given you the tools and now it’s up to you to set off on your journey.
Go , your journey to the radical awaits.

Eddy Abi Younes

Old Notes

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